I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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