i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
