his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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