I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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