She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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