the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
