And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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