Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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