were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
