Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Randomize
