When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
