I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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