I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
