Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
