Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
