Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
