Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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