So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
