I could have mohawked her pubes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
