So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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