**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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