its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
