Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
