I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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