I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
