no. you can't hotbox the world.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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