I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
