we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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