Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
