and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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