i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
