I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
