I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
