wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
