dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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