making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
