Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
