Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
