I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am available for nakedness
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
