so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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