No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
