I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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