man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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