he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
