its not stalking. its research.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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