I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
