Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
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