i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
