Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
