he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
