I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
