so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dicks are not precious.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
